My Bliss Trip

1. It is strange. But the last, say, two generations of younger people here in America -- the people under about the age of forty -- for the most part grew up with terribly insufficient parents, who basically were emotionally absent, or just not there at all. Countless younger people either had no father in their lives at all, or else had an addicted or verbally/physically abusive father figure, who left them all messed up. Many were raised by single mothers. Some had no mothers at all, or very screwed-up mothers, and consequently were raised by very angry fathers who didn't really know what they were doing -- the fatherhood role baffled them, and they didn't know how to give love.

My wife and I have one child, who we love to absolute distraction. We married later on in life than most people, and almost didn't have children. We got lucky. We are blessed, and we know it. We are thankful to the Goddess, the Buddha, Jesus of Nazareth, Allah, Vishnu -- any name out of a thousand for the mysterious face of God -- that blessed us with this beautiful child. But we also both had functional parents, for the most part, though my mother drank too much, and my father cheated on her in his forties. The marriages of both of our parents survived -- all the stresses, all the problems that younger people's marriages no longer can endure, it seems. But we grew up in a time when nobody got divorced except for movie stars, and most of us just pitied them, though perhaps we envied them the fame and money. Now, everybody cuts and runs at the slightest sign of trouble, and ultimately, marriage vows mean nothing.

"...Things fall apart... the center cannot hold..." -- W.B.Yeats

We've only been together twenty years, which is nothing compared to how long my parents were married. But a young friend of mine told me not long ago that she'd never known anyone who had been married longer than seven or eight years. That's really scary. What becomes of the children if the family goes to the dogs?

An old couple once told me that they thought the secret of remaining married was, "Managing to stay in love with the one you're stuck with." There's probably some truth to that. And I guess another big part of it is tolerance and forgiveness.


2. A lot of people are very frightened of success. A good friend of mine, bipolar, in her late thirties, and seriously overweight, is about to graduate with a B.A. degree that she has been pursuing for years. She only needs two courses to get the cherished, long-sought-after degree. She is now not going to take the last two courses because they are, "Boring and don't interest her." This, of course, means that she will not get the degree. She wouldn't know what to do if she succeeded in completing her B.A. degree. It would challenge her image of herself as a "loser", and so she would have to rethink her life and stop blaming mummy and daddy for everything. That would be uncomfortable and frightening. So now, almost at the finish line, with the prize within reach, she is going to sabotage everything.

Another friend is an attractive brunette in her late twenties. She's a nice gal, has a lot of love to give the right person, and should have been married long ago. But men run away from her screaming. Why? Because she puts out too easily, gets used every single time, and then plays a major "blame game" when the man leaves her. If a woman offers her body for pleasure easily, no man out there is going to turn her down. But he's also going to figure she's an easy piece and dump her a couple days later. Also, men going to bars are not looking for meaningful relationships. They are looking for an easy night. Period. You don't find good water in a mud hole. I've been trying to tell her this now for at least a year. But she doesn't learn. Because she doesn't want to learn. She wants to get used, and then bellyache about what worthless bastards men are because they use her.

Are all young people this stupid these days? Especially women? I used to blow half of my wages for a week in the 1970s in Nebraska, just to take some pretty young woman to dinner and then dancing at at disco, and I would consider myself lucky if I got a really decent kiss goodnight afterwards. After 4-5 months, yeah, I expected sex. But not instantly...

The more I deal with people, the better I like my books....



"...Cast not thy pearls before swine..." -- Jesus of Nazareth


Peace. phizzbin

I plan to avoid Black Friday completely. I refuse to buy anything on that day, not even a candy bar. And I will have no problem at all with Christmas crowds, unpleasant sales people or exposure to various seasonal illnesses, because I am going to do all of my shopping online.
State sales tax, bite me, hah hah....

To those few of you who read me here:

I owe you all a major mea culpa. Especially my wife. I put up a post a couple days ago, which I have since taken down, in which I threw a tantrum and aired some frustration which probably would better have been kept to myself. I looked at it after Rose of Pollux sent me a response, and realized I'd really made an ass of myself. I guess I feel like I just stood on top of the Sears Tower and exposed my weenie to the world, deliberately.

Please understand that I do not feel that my behavior was in any way acceptable or excusable. But please also understand that I am under serious stress right now. Our marriage has issues, mainly financial ones at this point. And if sexually I am frustrated with Starwefter growing older, I am also in my 50s now and not exactly a young superstud anymore, either. We both of us have to adjust to the fact that we are eligible for senior citizen's discounts, which is not making me feel good, at all. It is hard to look in the mirror, and slowly, but surely, watch an old man emerge from the looking glass. I miss the days when we were young and passionate, and would chase each other around the house nekkid. Now the only thing I can successfully chase is a cold beer, with a shot of Jack Daniels. My knees won't let me be youthful anymore. Kinky sex at my age? Yep. Kinky back, kinky neck, kinky knees....

But the biggest stress right now is that in two days, a close friend of mine is going to go to prison for the rest of his life -- murder -- and it is even conceivable that he could get the death penalty. This is making me sick in my spirit, but if you kill someone deliberately, I guess you have to pay the price. The killing was very complex in many ways, but society does have the right to protect itself against a murderer, so he does have to go to prison. It is only just.

Starwefter and I had a really good morning this morning. Emotional, but good. I think we'll work things out. We have many years invested in each other now. She may not be a wild young porn star. But she is still the woman I can read poetry to until we both cry. She is still the mother of my wonderful son. She is still the woman who can cook like a demon from hell. She is still the only woman who I've ever loved this deeply. She's still the only woman crazy enough to stay with a mad Irishman like me for over twenty years...

Sometimes I forget that.

As Starwefter and I were having a heart-to-heart this morning, I felt us being very protected by prayer energy or possibly spell energy. The energy was powerful enough that you could almost TOUCH it. Whoever did that for us, thank you.

All you people twittering out there -- just send her to bed at a reasonable hour, will you? We're getting old, but I still have plans for her, now and then. And she has such a glorious little bottom...

Again, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.....

Peace. phizzbin

Happy birthday to you a little bit early dragonfare. I would email you a couple virtual cases of beer, but I am just slowly learning about computers, and I don't know how.....

Anyway, have a happy! Sweet 21 and never been ploughed? LOL

peace. phizzbin

"KISS MY ASH!"

This isn't really a typical post for me.  I just want you who read me to know that I protect my friends, and that I know a great deal about ceremonial magic.  That means Crowley and LaVey.  That means the Slytherin stuff.  That means Voldemort.

I want you to know that although I usually don't actually post comments on other people's writings, I usually do read them, and sometimes find them rather interesting.  I am also gradually becoming interested in what happens on "Twitter", since my wife spends a lot of time during the wee hours communicating with some of her friends there.

I have watched some stuff quietly for awhile that has disturbed me, without saying anything.  I'm done being quiet.

I consider nightfire a friend.  She is dealing with a very difficult and very lonely personal situation right now, and will have some tough, heart-rending decisions to make in the future.  If she occasionally wants to be playful and act like a bit of a bonzo girl, that is her prerogative, and perhaps it will help her to lighten things up in her life a bit and relieve the stress.  Nobody has the right to hassle her about playing free and easy in her situation right now.  Please respect her right to be herself.

Some people talked some crap about her online awhile ago.  I followed this and it made me angry.  I'm a double Scorpio.  Don't make me angry.  Not when I know as much as I do about ceremonial magic.  I may be a Buddhist, technically, but I can move back and forth between systems quickly when I have to.   If I get fed up with somebody, all the Roman Catholic exorcists in Christendom won't prevent what I can make happen to you.  A word to the wise is sufficient.

Leave my friend alone.

Happy  Birthday nightfire.   Let me know if you see this.  phizzbin  

1.   If two people do not have basically the same attitudes toward life, the same needs, and the same values, and above all the same ways of doing things, they should really not make plans to spend a lot of time together, and they certainly should not plan to spend the rest of their lives together.

2.   If you attempt, at least most of the time, to be kind and compassionate, you need not defer to any religion or religious teacher.  The Great Spirit asks only that you be kind and compassionate, but without being a sap or a hopeless sucker.  It asks nothing more of you: other than that, you are free.

3.   I think it is pretty cool that some of the coastal states are allowing people with alternative romantic/sexual preferences to enter legally ratified marriages.  I've been with the same woman about twenty years now, but before that I did my share of experimenting.  What I discovered about myself is that I don't fall neatly into any one category.  I am not a homosexual, or a heterosexual or a bisexual.  I am a "trisexual."  I will "try" anything once.  If I like it, I will keep doing it.   My sexuality is really a global thing.  I'm a typical Scorpio I guess.  I want to fuck everyone and everything.  The only place I haven't done it is on a Roman Catholic altar at midnight.  Hey, I'm working on it....

4.   My birthday is in about a week.  I want to do something different this year, but something that will include my wife and kid.  I thought about making some "Magic Brownies" for the first time in about 25 years, but that would upset my wife, I think.  I just need something besides the cake and ice cream and obligatory presents.  Any suggestions?

5.   What is this "American male" fascination with blondes?  Give me an intelligent, sexy redhead any day.  Or better yet, a small-breasted Asian woman.

6.   Does anyone know how to control a really aggressive male Siamese cat?  He's about eighteen months old, and is now attacking strangers when they come to the front door.  We love the damn creature, but we don't want to get sued...



         " Money talks.  But it can't sing and dance, and it can't walk..."  -- Neil Diamond


         Peace.  phizzbin 

1.  "It is only when the season of cold comes that we can know the resolve of the pine and cypress."  -- Confucius

2.  A friend of mine is going to trial for first degree murder in less than two weeks.  The killing happened about a year ago, and he confessed to the killing, but claims it was an assisted suicide.  But it was done with a handgun.  The problem is, he's very fundamentalist Christian, believes what was done is OK, also believes that since he loves the Lord he will be acquitted, and will then also get his handguns and other guns back again.  Now, what part of "Thou shalt not kill," didn't get through here?  He's a good man in his own way, and has many friends, but is rather infantile, and now I fear he is probably also a borderline sociopath.  This is South Dakota.  He will not be acquitted.  I will be attending his trial once I return from family stuff back east, and I am truly dreading having to see the look on his face when he realizes that Jesus has not gotten him off the hook.  It's people like this that make Christianity so very unappealing to me, and I'm glad I left the Christian faith many years ago.  If Christians are like this, I'd rather be an honest, open Satanist or something.  Or maybe a New Guinea head-hunter.  Still, I am sorry for my friend.

3.  For those of you who will be celebrating Samhain in a couple weeks -- Merry Meet, and Blessed Be!   I am very eclectic in my beliefs, and my personal faith is a rather odd combination of Paganism and Buddhism.  I celebrate my birthday on Samhain since I like the holiday, though it actually falls a couple days later.  My wife and I are a Pisces/Scorpio marriage.  Is that good or bad, I wonder?  It has its good points, and its bad ones, like anything else I suppose.

4.  I am writing one helluva hot-and-bothered story for a young woman who is a friend of my wife's on the Internet, and whose husband is unavailable to her for quite some time due to personal issues.  This young woman is very healthy, judging from the kind of story she has asked me to write for her. (Don't worry, my wife knows all about this, and is cracking the whip for me to get the story done.)  But it's rather strange to write a really sexy story for a much younger woman who you are never likely to meet in real life.  I find myself wondering what this woman looks like, how tall she is, what her hair color is, how she dresses.... things like that.  I am having a good time writing a really juicy story for this gal, but I wonder which of us will enjoy it more -- which one of us have the bigger fantasy?  Hey, maybe I've accidentally stumbled on a gold mine here, a potential new industry.  Instead of vulgar stuff like phone sex, we can all write smut for people we will never meet.  Hmmm.  I wonder if this is what the writers of Harlequin Romances feel like?  I have no idea what you look like, but somehow, I picture you with an absolutely fabulous butt, Nightfire....

5.  I would think that the PHYSICAL OBJECTS we value most say a lot about our personalities.  If your home was on fire and you could save only three things besides people, photographs and pets, what would you grab and then run like hell with before the building went up?  I would grab my box of most important papers and books (diaries, poems, irreplaceable books) that I have in a safe place just in case of such an emergency.  Then I would grab my favorite oriental teapot and cups.  Then, finally, I would grab my genuine Hungarian gypsy's crystal ball, and that sucker is heavy.  The rest I would have to let go, I guess.  I have damn good insurance, and most of it I could get back, or comparable stuff.  So it looks like I value knowledge and art (the poems and books), peace and solace (the teapot and cups), and contact with the "other side" (the crystal ball).  What do you value most in an absolute emergency?  It tells me who you are.



            "Come to the Dark Side -- we have orgasms..."  -- yours truly


           Peace.  phizzbin

1.   I don't have any problem with a woman having an abortion if her life would be endangered by the pregnancy.  Not just her HEALTH, her LIFE.   Plenty of women have major health problems -- asthma, diabetes, even epilepsy and cancer -- and have no significant difficulties carrying a fetus to term.  Many develop gestational diabetes ( my wife's very close friend did, and now has a wonderful 13 year old son) and bear the fetus to full term, and are rewarded with a wonderful son or daughter.
      My problem is with MILLIONS of abortions.  My problem is with a culture that allows and even encourages men and women to be irresponsible about human life and the physical act of copulating.  Here's an example.  Ms. Brenda Ditzychik, who is, say, a student of international law at a major university, goes out one Saturday night to a club, has a few drinks, picks up a guy, brings him home for the night, and slips up on her birth control.  Two months later her period is overdue, she sees the doctor, and finds out she's hit the jackpot.  Then she thinks, "OOOPPPSSS!!!  How inconvenient!   I'm pregnant and in law school, with no husband!"  And she makes a little visit to the Abortion Clinic.  And all over America, gazillions of women do this, every day.  Every single day.
       If a woman has been raped, then she absolutely does have the right to have an abortion.  If she is an incest survivor, also, absolutely, and I'm sure in both of these cases, with God's understanding and blessing.  If it can be shown from various available prenatal tests that the baby will have no possibility of a meaningful life if carried to term, again.  If the mother would be likely to die if she carried the child, she again has the right to abortion.
       What we do not have the right to do is use abortion in other cases.  Abortion is not last-minute birth control.  If a woman is too ignorant or too irresponsible to use birth control to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, she should be sterilized by the state.  If a man is too ignorant or too irresponsible to use a condom to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, he should be given a vasectomy by the state.  (The general flow of this paragraph is from the thought of the late great Dr. Anton Szandor LaVey.)
       This whole issue is terribly volatile, and it's no wonder, since the life of children is involved.  I would just hope that we all remember that both sides of the fence have strong points to make.  As the fundamentalist religious conservatives point out -- generally at the top of their lungs --  Abortion stops a beating human heart.  Deliberately stopping a beating human heart is murder.  Therefore, abortion is murder.  You have to admit, they've got a point: a pretty damn inescapable one.  
       But there is a point made by pro-choice people, too, more often implied than stated.  As tragic as an abortion is, there IS something more tragic than an aborted fetus.  It is a child who is unwanted.  It is a child who is uncared for.  It is a child who is unloved.
       So here we are.  As usual, stuck, in a world where the opposites clash.  Let me make a small suggestion here.
       Why don't we men just stay out of the politiical arena on this issue?  If we are fathers, or at least decent ones, we love our children, yes, oh hell, yes.  And I will admit that I personally would be very angry with any woman who aborted my child.  But that's easy for me to say.  I'm a man.  I will never be pregnant. I will never feel birth pangs or have morning sickness.  I will never whimper like a crippled animal, like an animal caught in a merciless trap, like my wife did when she gave birth to my beautiful son, now a 6th grader.  I will never have to endure what any woman on this planet endures each time she is pregnant, each time she gives birth.  My life will never be on the line to bring a new life into the world.
        Guys, let's face it.  The woman does all the hard stuff with the pregnancy and the giving birth.  She goes through the agony of labor, and what do we do?  Pass out the frickin' cigars.  Do you see how unfair that is?
        So let the WOMEN go to the voting polls and decide the rights of women in America about the abortion issue.  And let the men stay out of it.  That would at least be the beginnings of some kind of just treatment of a terribly explosive issue.

2.     I'm really sick and tired of "Light" always being identified with "Good", and "Darkness" always being identified with "Evil."  I have been a nightowl since I was a small kid.  I like the moon.  I like the stars.  I like the shade.  The only thing sunlight ever did for me was give me a big Squamous cancer on the tip of my nose, that had to be removed several years ago.
        And the Garden Of Eden story has been misinterpreted for what, like, 26 centuries at the very least?  Look, I figured this out when I was really fried on good mushrooms maybe twenty-five years ago or more -- that's what it took to break through a long childhood of Roman Catholic conditioning.  Adam and Eve are dittybopping around in the Garden, buck naked.  They come to this really cool tree with lots of yummy fruit.  Right away, Yahweh is there: "If you eat of this tree, you shall surely die. You touch this stuff, kiddies, and you are TOAST!"
        A little while later, when Yahweh is off doing other stuff (which he always is when the shit hits the fan -- look at what happened during the Holocaust, for example), along comes the serpent, who slithers up to Eve. "Yahweh is bluffing, cute stuff.  If you eat of this tree, you will gain extraordinary knowledge, and you will become like God."
        Well, that's just too much for anybody's curiosity, so of course, Eve takes the bait, and you know the rest of the story.
        But forget what the church taught you all your life.
        Who was telling the truth?  Yahweh?  Or the serpent?
        Yahweh said they would die.   The serpent said they would gain knowledge.
        Which happened?  They gained knowledge.
        So in the first major interaction of "YAHWEH" with the human race, he lies through his teeth.
        In the first major interaction of the "SERPENT" with the human race, he leads us out of a comfortable ignorance into a formidable awareness of our own potential for consciousness.
        From now on, my money is on the SERPENT.



                       "...Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead."  --  James Joyce



          Peace.  phizzbin

1.  Knowledge, intellect and the findings of science are paltry, arid, worthless things indeed, if they cannot be influenced, judged and controlled by human compassion, the human heart, and the human spirit.  Knowledge and power used without compassion simply amount to violence.

2.  Everyone says I should have been a minister or priest.  I thought about it, 35 years ago or so.  Unfortunately, I am far too passionate a man by nature to make a good priest.  For example, if a pretty young woman, or even not so young, comes and tells me all her problems, I truly enjoy listening to her and trying to help her, as long as she genuinely wants the help.  But I also think about how pleasant it would be to take her to bed and screw her six ways to Sunday.  This can really complicate any attempt to listen to someone and help them.  Many excellent priests and counselors ultimately give in to their temptation with someone this way, and disgrace themselves, because when someone is vulnerable and in pain, it is easy to take advantage of them.  I have always known myself to be a little bit too sexually attracted to intelligent redheads and also Asian women, and I am good at manipulating people when I want to be.  For that reason, I decided against the religious life, though I am a very spiritual person to this day.

3.  Most men hope that when they are dead one day, they will be remembered for their money, power or prestige.  When I am gone someday, I hope people will remember that I was a loving husband and a damn good father, that I was generous and usually tried to be kind (when I wasn't flying off the handle about something), that I listened well, that I was a fair to middlin' poet, writer and abstract artist, that for a man I was a damn good cook, that I made fresh-baked bread to die for, that I was rather a bit of a misanthropic hermit who tended to keep to himself, that I had a phenomenal memory, and that I loved the night far more than the day.  Other than that I guess people will remember whatever suits them.  Don't worry, this isn't a suicide note.  But many people my age have died in the last couple years -- friends of my wife's and mine -- and I am becoming more aware of my own mortality.  So in twenty years or whatever when I go belly up, remember these things if they seem true, and anything else you like.  And if you think I was a total jackass, just keep it to yourself and go piss on my grave at 3am or something.  Don't tell my wife -- she doesn't always deal well with people's honest opinions, and she's likely to argue with you nonstop for the next six weeks or more.  And I do mean nonstop, wink....




       "The horn of the doubt goat be exalted!"    -- Aleister Crowley


        Peace.  PHIZZBIN

1.   Most people  dance in their spirits when spring returns each year, and the days grow longer and filled with light.   I dance in my spirit when autumn returns each year, and the days grow shorter, and darkness returns to the world.  I always was a maverick...

2.   I was born into the wrong culture.  I have been fascinated with oriental cultures since I was six years old, and first went into a Chinese restaurant.  I drank several pots of fine Chinese tea, and automatically learned how to use chopsticks, while the rest of my family fumbled with the things.  The restaurant workers were astonished and always called me "the little mandarin" after that, and let me eat for free on my birthdays.  When I was about twenty or so, I found a Chinese coolie hat in a shop in NYC, and when I tried it on, waves of emotion poured over me, and I lost my sense of identity, and wept openly in the shop.  The old woman who ran the shop gave me the hat, and also some very fine incense and an incense burner.  These things were stolen from me (along with all my record albums and art supplies, grrr...) when I last lived in Nebraska in 1980.   I recently found coolie hats in an international store in Rapid City.  I bought two of them.  And this past spring, I formally converted to Buddhism.  Yep, I'm in the wrong culture....

3.  The right of Americans to "keep their freedoms," does NOT mean that we should be free to squander irreplaceable, nonrenewable resources, pollute the earth and destroy the environment, and make war on cultures that try to interfere with American greed.  "The price of gasoline is OUTRAGEOUS! Somebody must DO something! Quick, honey, drive to the kitchen and call our Congressman!"   Yeah, right.  Get off your fat butt and ride a bicycle.

4.  The Republicans are the GREEDY party.  The Democrats are the STUPID party.  Six of one, half a dozen of the other...

5.   A woman's body is proof that God loves men and wants them to be happy.  Do you straight women feel the same way about men?  We hope so!

6.   Though I am politically moderate, and believe in the separation of church and state, I sometimes think that the public schools in America should return to opening the school day with a moment of prayer.  Prayer, or at least meditation, is a very focusing, grounding, centering thing when done properly.  And a religious, reverent attitude towards life is sadly lacking among today's young people.  Perhaps if we could teach them to "twitter" less, and download less, and text less -- and learn some patience and reverence with each other -- there would be less unhappiness,  less suicide, less teen pregnancy, less drug addiction....

7.   If I hadn't discovered BOOKS at a very young age, I sometimes wonder what in God's name I would have done with my life.  I owe almost everything I've become in my life to my first grade teacher, Mrs. Richardson.  She taught me how to READ....



               "The world has enough for everyone's need, but not for everyone's greed..."   -- Mahatma Gandhi


         Peace.  phizzbin.

1.   You only use about twenty percent of your brain cells even if you are a genius, so you may as well just fry the rest of them.

2.   A lot of marriages fail around the twenty year mark.  This is making me nervous.

3.   Fatherhood: not just a job.  It's an adventure.

4.   The more I deal with people, the better I like my books.

5.    A jug of thou, a loaf of wine, and bread....

6.    It's really freaky to be contacted online by people who you haven't heard from in like, thirty years.  I'm not sure I like it.

7.    If people treated you like absolute shit from kindergarten through the 12th grade, why in God's name would they think you would have any interest in the damn class reunions?

8.    Anton Szandor LaVey was a way cool dude.  Out there, yes.  But way cool.  I would recommend his books to anyone.  Don't be alarmed by the covers of the books.  They are there to SELL the books.  Shock value, you know...

9.   It is my destiny in life to be plagued by financial woes.  In my last lifetime, I must have squandered a vast fortune, or been a ruthless financier or something.....

10. The most important thing in the world is kindness.  Much as I hate to admit it, kindness is more important than intelligence, and creativity, and education, and probably even wisdom.  Perhaps it is simply that kindness is the ultimate wisdom.



                   "The swiftest traveller is he that goes a-foot."  --  Thoreau


Peace.  PHIZZBIN 

I predict that Michael Jackson will arrive at the White House on a UFO with Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison and also Janis Joplin.  Then President Obama will have several beers with them and smoke several doobies.  Obama will then announce that he is an android, pick up an electric guitar and play the Star-Spangled Banner with Hendrix.  Then the Captain of the UFO, a Vulcan woman who looks rather like Dolly Parton with pointed ears, will whisk them all aboard the UFO, which is named the U.S.S. Capitalist, and they will leave the planet, travelling at Warp 7 or so, and go where no man has gone before.  Obama will be gone with them, since he is an android from the planet Vulcan, and the United States will then be firmly in the hands of Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie, who will be the heads of America's new third party: THE WILD PARTY!!!!

I could not possibly care less.  Like, these books are intended for teenagers.  What is all the fuss about?  Let's read something serious.  Emerson.  Dickinson.   Shakespeare.   Chaucer.    Plato.   Aristotle.   Julian of Norwich.   Pablo Neruda.   St.  Catherine of Siena.   Tolstoi.   Abbess Hildegard von Bingen.   Yosano  Akiko.   Li Po.  Tu Fu.  Basho.    -----  with all this wonderful stuff out there, plus countless more poets, novelists and philosophers of the same caliber (or at least pretty damn close), you want me to be reading books intended for tweens and slightly older?  Spare me.  You  keep reading drivel if you please.  I'll stick with Moby Dick and War and Peace.

My choice would be Chinese food.  There's a lot of rice, fish and vegetables, which are my favorite foods, and not much done with dairy, which I generally dislike.  Also, depending on what province of China the cuisine is from, I can choose brutally hot, spicy foods if I like, or something milder.  And I absolutely love oriental tea of any kind, and rice wine as well, and I have even found that Chinese beer is better than many European imports.  I have never been to a Chinese restaurant that I disliked.  I even like takeout Chinese from a cheap place better than top-quality pizza takeout.  A big thumbs-up on Chinese food!

!.  These days, when it comes to the boy-girl thing, men are looking primarily for sex, and women are looking primarily for meal tickets.

2. Some people absolutely cannot learn from experience, even though the same thing kicks hell out of them over and over again.  It is probably not their fault: either they are lacking in basic intelligence, or suffering from congenital brain damage.  So all we can do is be patient with them.

3. In my opinion, having children is a blessing, not a curse.  Although, my kid's teen years are still ahead, so we shall see how I feel in five or six more years.

4. When it comes to women, I am unusual for an American male in that I do not like large breasts.  I am the chairman of "The Itty Bitty Titty Committee."  That may be one of the reasons that I prefer Asian women to any others.  However, my wife is enormous that way, so when you truly love someone, you become blind to such trivial qualifications.  It is simply that I prefer to make love to a woman, not a cow.

5. I am either a very conservative Democrat or a very liberal Republican.  I don't fit well into either camp, because on some issues I am very conservative, and on others I am extremely liberal.  I had enormous respect for both Jimmy Carter AND Ronald Reagan, for very different reasons. Oh, hell.  Maybe I should just give up and become an Independant...

6. Before we get America heavily involved in socialized medicine, I hope the present administration looks at other countries with such a system and becomes aware of some of the formidable problems they have with that kind of health care.  But the American medical community and insurance companies have gotten themselves into this kettle of fish.  It's greed.  Plain, simple, ugly greed.  It does America no good to have the finest medical treatments available in the world, if only the wealthy can afford them.

7. I never used to worry, when dating years ago, if a woman was overweight.  If she was enormous, obviously she had an eating disorder, which usually masks serious underlying emotional problems, and so I would avoid her.  But if she was maybe 25 to 40 pounds overweight, that wasn't a big concern for me, because I know how fast a woman can lose weight when she's trying to attract a specific, individual man.  I have five sisters, and I watched this happen constantly when I was a lad.  If the woman is falling in love and wants to lose weight, she will lose it so fast it will make the guy's head spin.  She just won't EAT for like, six or seven months.  She'll end up malnourished, and you'll end up taking her to the emergency ward. It's downright scary.  She'll drink sugarless iced tea and eat those styrofoam-like rice cake things for a year.  She'll make herself absolutely sick trying to lose the weight for her man.  But then, if the relationship fails for some reason, she'll gain it all back pretty quickly, too.  Anyway, guys need to lighten up on women about the weight thing.  They can't all look like anorexic supermodels.  And most of us wouldn't want them to, anyway.  I, for one, like nice big rumps.  "Don't want none unless you got buns, hon." Smile.


      "Wild men, who caught and sang the sun in flight,
        And learned, too late, they grieved it on its way,
        Do not go gentle into that good night........"
                                          -- Dylan Thomas

     Peace.  Phizzbin     

1.  Neil Young is my Elvis.

2.  Ok, I know this one is going to ruffle a few feathers.  I believe that democracy, at least as we practice it in America, is destined to failure in the long run.  You just can't have absolutely everyone voting. You can't give everyone the power to influence national policy. The problem is that some people are simply too STUPID to have the power to vote.  Case in point: several years back now in this state, a man who was one of the most experienced and skilled and powerful men in national politics was defeated in the state elections, after about 26 years of service, by a total nobody.  I spoke to a neighbor, a woman with a high school diploma who was in her late fifties, who had voted for the newcomer. I asked her why. She said that while she respected the experienced senator, the new man was, "Oh, just so handsome!  And I went to a cookout he gave and the chili was so good!"  Yes, folks, idiots like this are currently electing our leaders.  A tremendously skilled politician was defeated by an upstart because he was a hunk and had some caterer make nice chili.  If we are going to elect our leaders for reasons like this, in 2012 I shall vote for Miss January or something.  She will be a nice looking bitch and probably not need a caterer to make her chili.....   Anyway, democracy can't function well when uneducated people are allowed to vote.  I suggest we amend the constitution: only people with at least an associate's degree should be part of the voting process.  It may not work either, if women still vote for hunks and men vote for babes, but hey, we have to start somewhere.  OK, end of diatribe.  You can start pelting me with eggs and tomatoes now.  And nice chili.

3.  I go by the "Rule of thirds" when it comes to marriage.  One-third of the time, you would like to strangle your spouse.  One-third of the time, you are both just kind of comfortable and content with each other.  And one-third of the time, you are communing like true soul mates and wouldn't trade each other for the world.

4.  I don't believe that the word "happiness" is a word that really means anything, at least in terms of a steady, uninterrupted state of being.  We are "happy" at certain moments and places in our lives.   We are happy when we graduate, when we win something, when we marry, when our children are born, when we fall in love, when we travel to a new place.... things like that.  These are isolated peak experiences in our lives, but we are not "happy" all the time.  And it's not at all realistic to think we will be.  So, I prefer the word "contentment."  We can't walk around blissed out all the time-- unless we have very good drugs-- but with a reasonable amount of education, hard work, and good fortune, we can be content with our lives.  If you ask me if I'm happy, I would answer that it depends where, and when, and about what.  But if you ask me if I'm content, I would say yes, very much so.

5.  Don't lend money to family or friends.  Nobody will screw you faster over money than family or friends.  Learned that one the hard way, over and over again.

6.  If you lend $20 to someone, and you never see them again, it was probably worth it.

7.  Saw this on a button: No sex education school prayer = pray you're not pregnant.  (Scary, eh? You know how much teen pregnancy there is these days?  Food for thought.)

8.  Sadly, most of the people in the (American) NeoPagan movement are cognitively out with the bunnies.  I was part of this movement for a long time, though I went underground in the late 1990s.  But hey, does that mean that I WAS OUT THERE, and only regained my sanity when I left?  Who knows, maybe I needed to go to the booby hatch....

9.  What?  Kinky sex at my age? (Kinky back, kinky neck, kinky knees...)


"Time is but the stream I go a-fishin in..."   -- H.D. Thoreau


peace.   phizzbin

1.  When it comes to anger: men don't remember, and women don't forget.

2.  Lord Voldemort wasn't really evil.  He just probably had alcoholic parents, which warped him for good.  I can relate.

3.  All of us men who were following the Harry Potter movies to date have been holding our breath waiting for Hermione's cleavage to come in.  Yep, she's growing up.  And they say we men don't like intelligent women. WRONG.  HERMIONE RULES. HERMIONE IS THE GODDESS.

4.  There is an old Irish legend to the effect that if a woman bears her man a child when he has been childless until midlife, he is bound to her forever and can deny her no wish from that point forward.  It is only legend.  But I think there is much truth in it, from my own experience.  A child late in life deepens your marriage, and keeps you young.

5.  As much as I love Philosophy, I would still have to agree with Descartes: the discipline of philosophy has completely absorbed  the geniuses of the last several thousand years, without producing a single thing that cannot be disputed.  For that reason, I think great literature, especially poetry, is superior to philosophy.  At least it produces something of beauty, or makes us feel.  And what is beautiful is also often true.  The greatest philosophy is still often atrocious as literature, whereas the greatest literature is often also absolutely soaring philosophy.

6.  The four most powerful forces in the world are  A) the power of faith  B) the power of doubt  C) the power of hate, and above all, D) the power of love.

7.  I don't really believe that there is a weirdass universal conflict between a benevolent, loving God and a nasty little devil with his henchmen.  Too simplistic a worldview, suitable for unsophisticated people who lived many centuries ago.  But I do believe that there is a terrible struggle between agents for LOVE and agents for POWER.  And it's becoming more serious all the time.  When we fought each other with spears and swords, it got pretty damn bloody, but still, the damage could only go so far.  If we fight each other with chemicals and biological warfare and nukes, eventually we will make earth uninhabitable.  Earth is all we've got.  No place else to go.  We ruin this place and we're screwed......

8. A pot of fine tea is the ultimate comfort.

       -- peace.  phizzbin 

1.  The meek shall inherit squat.  Yea, verily, they shall get walked all overeth.

2.  Faithful women are not horny.  Horny women are not faithful.

3.  A full belly will make up for a lot of unpleasantness.  So will a really good night's sleep.

4.  An honest Satanist is better than a hypocritical fundamentalist.

5.  There will never be peace in the world as long as there are people starving to death.

6.   Books are more important than friendship.  At least for me.

7.   Sex matters more to men than to women, generally.


         Gotta go. It's thundering.  Peace.

1. My greatest skill as a human being is that I want very little, I am content with my library, my small family, and a few basic possessions.  And I need even less, I have very modest needs.  I have never been particularly materialistic or greedy.

2. It is a wonderful thing to have a good love relationship with someone who can be trusted and who will stay with you despite your failings.  I lived without this for the first 32 years of my life, and was very lonely.  Hard to believe I've been with my wife for 20 years now.

3. The older I get, the less I like to eat meat.  This is not really from any deep ethical consideration, as I love fish.  And I accept that Americans are heavy meat-eaters.  I find that I simply prefer other foods, especially grains and veggies.  And I no longer like dairy products, which I loved when I was young.  Pizza makes me sick, and I hate milk.

4. My sleeping pattern is subject to change without notice, really since I was about eleven years old or so.  The only thing that remains consistent is that I like to be awake from midnight to 4am.

5. Einstein was right: imagination is more important than knowledge.

6. Women may not need husbands.  But children desperately need fathers.  The American family is falling apart because of this.

7. Gandhi was right: the world has enough for everyone's need.  But not for everyone's greed.

8. If we could all try to do more good than harm in the world, it would be a happier place for everyone to live.

9. Wealth does not necessarily bring happiness.  Look at the people over the centuries who have been considered the wisest of men and women.  Most of them have lived very modestly, and very many of them have deliberately chosen poverty rather than wealth and power.

10. People always come to me, expecting me to help them and listen to their problems and their sufferings.  I don't really know why.  I am a rather solitary man, and would rather have a good volume of poetry or philosophy than a new Porsche.  So people think I must know something.  It's rather funny.  I just value a contemplative life over an active, ambitious, worldly one, simply because it is what suits me.  And yet they think of me as a guru or something.  I have succeeded, somewhat, at being myself.  That is my only real wisdom and my only unusual achievement.

11. My ultimate faith: I believe in sacrificing to the gods.  You may call those gods whatever name you choose.  I do not think it matters, as long as you try to be kind, to practice kindness.

12. Any time that I have deliberately harmed someone else, even when they deserved it, I have harmed myself ten times more.   Trust me, this is a very difficult lesson for a Scorpio to learn...


        How charming is divine philosophy!
        Not harsh and crabbed as dull folks suppose,
        But musical as is Apollo's lute,
        And a perpetual feast of nectared sweets.
                                                                                          -- John Milton